Gray Matters with tips on how to consume vast quantities of chocolate

Club races are on this Sunday. Squad bosses, please make sure your rowers RSVP by Friday morning. The boss is on a need to know basis. If she’s in the dark you won’t have a cox or any equipment, which will put you at a significant disadvantage in the race. You may be left with the rejects from biggest loser who may be walking past the club house on their way to the food court, to cox, again putting your crew at a significant disadvantage. Also the boss needs to know for catering and if you have rejected biggest losers coxing for you they will eat all your food and you will have to go to jail because it’s unlikely they are accredited coxes. Anyway by all accounts the food in jail is worse than the men’s crew’s cooking….think blended.
The format will be 3 x 350 m and then finals followed by brunch.
As alluded to, it is catered by the men’s squad! Think beer and cheesy noodles (cheese and 2 minute noodles), hopefully they have ordered pizza the night before and not eaten it all (or had it for brekkie) and they will bring that, don’t eat the one with the prawns on it as it’s unlikely it made it to the fridge over night.
If you’re going to Sydders you’d better rock up as the plan is to have rowers race in the crews that they are training in for Sydney and this is a last chance at race practice.
Chocolate orders are due this week! Maybe even today. Drop them off at the club in the black secretary box or to Karen, Karin, Susie or Rochelle.  Fundraising is the responsibility of each club member and it is the ONLY way we can upgrade fleet.  Like the new tub four coxless quad and eight that we acquired this year.  These boats cost together more than 33k. To the money bags that suggested raising the club membership fees, that’s why we have the option of donating cash if you don’t like flogging or eating chocolates. Personally I’ll sell them to my postman’s diabetic Nanna to save my hard earned rowing PA’s salary and it gives me a chance to put those funds towards Gatorade, print cartridges and a cross backed sports bra to ensure my back looks less like a kitten playing with a ball of string and does not distract 2 and 1 from our winning endeavors.
Last year you may remember the male members of RRC sold in total 1 strawberry freddo, and I think that was to Simon (man not boat as the boat wouldn’t buy a thing) as two would have put him over his calorie quota for the week. This year they have laid down the gauntlet and no I am not talking about Mrs Gauntlet my grade 2 teacher, I am fairly sure they have set the solid (excuse the double meaning here) respectable female chocolate sales people a challenge.
Basically if the soon to be heavy and pimply boys manage to sell more chocolates than the girls we have to buy each of them a drink at presentation night. If the girls sell more they will buy each of us a drink at presentation night. Sounds easy, personally I could eat chocolate for Australia and can vouch for the rest of the B team, hell I just ate 3 frogs while I was writing that sentence. The trick is, when you feel ill, just have some water and you’ll find you can keep on eating, also it’s cheaper and quicker and less messy than cooking a meal, something for those of us with families to keep in mind, and how happy would your kids be! And it’s not like they would lose weight. Also I have a feeling the boys drink beer, where as girls, ta daaa, expensive drink tastes. So don’t let me down gang. Click on Simon (man not boat’s article below and in that you can click again (it’s like a game!)) and you can order your choccies.

I have been spending a bit of time pretending to clean the BBQ out the front to disguise my obvious perving of the men’s 8, and no not the Melbourne men’s 8, no not the Mercantile Men’s 8, not Powerhouse (well it’s not like I turn the other way) but our very own men’s 8. They obviously figured they might as well row hard as their name was on the board and they seem to owe their coach about a slab in late fees. Anyway it’s working. The men’s eight is looking like a sure thing and improving by the day in preparation for the NSW club championships regatta in Sydney.
Crews are in the final throws of selection and Richmond will have a team of 25 people representing the club at the regatta….A team which we can use to play a small round robin in netball with 2 refs and 3 subs after….
Katie Gray
PA to Nicole Stupka or PANS (formally PA to JK who is now living in Sydney working on becoming DR JK aka PADRJK)