Gray matters trying to make sense of climate change

Hello Rowers,
Well what a week. The sudden drop in temperature means I have temporarily abandoned my plans to chop up the Latham (boat not man, though how many murders have I seen on telly this week, mostly prostitutes and congressmen, anyhow I digress) and turn it into a giant pedestal fan and matching deck chair for out the front of the club to make the most of our non veranda and Melbourne Uni eye candy, instead I am now sending off for plans to turn it into a Swedish style hot tub and accompanying towel warmer.
One thing I have discovered is that the brown wooden boat we have, despite looking like the love-child of my childhood cubby house and a country kitchen, is in fact a racing boat in disguise!!! Well knock me down with a feather!! There is a strong likelihood that Nicole told me that as I was wolfing down an entire pack of chocolate coated teddy bears in despair after being told that the DS rowed better than the B team (or she simply may have been worried I would move on to the TV Snacks she’d hidden in her drawer for her morning tea). It will be our second post wedding row for Sharon this week, last week I was aghast when the latest edition of Women’s Weekly and New Idea fell out of her bag, fingers crossed this week she doesn’t arrive in a matching tracksuit and have baked us all cookies, actually might not be all bad…
Survey Time
ALL ROWERS – even those who are in retirement or on break and those that are coaches but still rowing – need to fill out the survey so we can plan for the season. There are big things coming up and we need to know who is interested … My boss can’t be organised if you aren’t and that means she’s cranky and starts timing my lunch break and noting how many dentist appointments I have each year (13 and we’re still in January), and how many grandparents / great aunts / step grandparents / step great aunts kick the bucket in far flung places which lead to lengthy periods of bereavement leave. So for crying out loud fill out the survey so she can pop you all in a regatta. Regattas are a great opportunity to wear tight clothing around a bunch of strangers and boat loading is terrific practice for the next time you need to move house, the weight of your fridge will fade into insignificance after you lug some of our big momma boats.
You need to do this by tomorrow, Thursday, if you don’t we can have a chat to Mike and Simon (man not boat) about putting together a fantastic time intensive erging program for you as you will have missed out on all rowing. So far only 37 responses but we have way more people than that rowing and not rowing.
Barwon entries are closed (Barwon = Jan31), hope you’ve all taken out a second mortgage to help pay for your coffee from Mitre 10, muffins are good, but is it worth forgoing your children’s opportunities at a private school?
If you are interested in racing states (it sounds VERY cool when you drop it in conversation around the office, not once has anyone asked me if it was C division or in a tub that is our little secret) please let you coaches know. You’d better also pop it onto the survey link above.
Ok, we’re yellow, black and friendly, but it does come at a price. Keep your race fee account in the black and pay your membership. For this to work you need to know your password and login for the clubweb site. If you don’t know your login email the big boss will sort you out. If individual rowers are not financial – the whole crew won’t be entered in an event. It’s too hard to rejuggle things. This sounds serious guys, you’d better log on and do some transferring. Barry, Karin and I can lead the way with payday today!!
Check the safety board for current rowing condition – update it if you are the first crew on the water and don’t forget to log out. Also, wear thongs on the landing (oh I love it that we have non Australian born people in the club and I have NO intention of translating the word thong, just in renting out my new Latham deckchair) and protect yourself from sunburn (slip, slop, slap) or you’d look like a walnut by the time you’re my age (22 BTW) (If you believe that you’ll believe anything) (But I am LOADS younger than Simon man and the cubbyhouse / country kitchen boat).
PANT (PA to Nicoles Tudka, previously PA to JK until she was transferred to the Darwin Oar Rowing Society and now champions the DORC’s up there)