Gray Matters is back and looking to work off a bit of Christmas cheer

Can anyone beat my record of a large box of Lindt chocolates in 24 hours over Christmas Day to Boxing day? Also I positively ate a farmyard on Christmas day and as I sit hear my black and yellow pleated and tailored trousers (Nicole’s just updated the staff uniform catalogue) which swam on me early December are now giving me kidney / appendix / lower back / circulation trouble. The idea of a ham and salad sandwich bores me when I could have a croissant, some cake, left over scallop potatoes and a ice-cream.
Anyway as I am facing cheap perm ant tattoos from my polyester trousers I headed back on the water with the infamous B team, only to be told by the coxes with the mostest that we were ‘worse than a Rutherglen summer’. (Though keep in mind that no one actually did a background check on the DS, there is a chance there were all Russian rowing Olympians who are seeking Asylum in Melbourne in which case it should be expected that we would be worse than these superstars).
I suppose there could be a small chance that the incredible B team has lost some form over Chrissie in terms of skill and has gained some form in terms of our new wider shadows. Just in case I think it’s best that we start training again. If you have your own Lindt chocolate belly to consider click on the link to see when your racing and training is on.
If you have the memory of a goldfish and the computer skills of my Granny you can check out the hard copy of the calendar on the club notice board and in the men’s and women’s change rooms. It’s the same in each change room, so no need to ‘double check’. Keep in mind we’re all hairy and we wear HUGE, old, grey knickers, so nothing worth the visit.
The sprint season has gotten under way with a Hot Weekend at Rutherglen (Hmm while the B team were eating hot chips, ice-cream, Mojhitos, chocolate pudding and cheesecake, we’d better think about our lifestyle choices – CONGRATULATIONS TO SHARON WHO OFFICIALLY SNARED A GREAT GUY AT HER WEDDING LAST WEEKEND AND WHO LOOKED AMAZING, CONGRATULATIONS ALSO SARAH FOR KEEPING THE NUTCASE UNDER CONTROL).
Bling was grabbed in the men’s B Quad, men’s A eight, women’s D pair, women’s D four, women’s D eight,  and the mixed eight. Onya to Arnie and others who pulled the regatta together. And also to Simon (man not boat) for arranging bus transport. And thanks again to the Schouten’s for getting our boats to and from the regatta in one (or in some cases 2 pieces).
Upcoming Regattas
Barwon Regatta (Geelong) – Sunday January 31st (Particularly good burgers available at this one, but might need to put your first born on ebay to buy a coffee from the Mitre 10) The coaches need to put proposed crews for Barwon together this week so let your coach know if you want to row ASAP, because crews will be put together by Sunday.
NB: the schedule of events is similar to Rutherglen with three brackets but no Masters or Mixed events.  Distances: A&B – 1500m, C&D  -1000m.  Entries will cost $11.75/seat.  Top up your race fee account in anticipation. Look at the RV website for more info.
Victorian State Championships (Nagambie) – Saturday & Sunday February 13th-14th (Good coffee on site, even better wine nearby, cross your fingers for a row over so you can do a tasting pre race)
Australian Henley (Yarra; A/B grade rowers) – Saturday February 20th (Excellent raisin toast in food court if you get in early)
Henley on the Maribyrnong (Essendon: C/D rowers) – Saturday February 27th (bring a club lock)
Footscray Saltwater Regatta – Saturday March 20th (Another club lock outing)
New South Wales State Championships & NSW vs VIC club challenge (Penrith, Sydney) – Friday April 9th – Sunday April 11th
Plans for the Master’s season are yet to be finalised.  But I would encourage, all Masters rowers to participate in upcoming Sprint regattas and the training camp. The Masters season is very short, and having race practice will optimise your performance for the target regattas.
Club Races
Given that the Around the Island time trials were so popular in 2009 (was it the rowing or the food or the tourist appeal of the island?), we will be holding another club racing series.  This time the format will be 4 x 300 m sprint races followed by finals.  Brunch will continue, as last year.
To participate, please let you coaches know by Wednesday before Sunday’s racing.  This is important, so that we can organize crews, coxes and boats.  You must to be at the club by 9:45 am, so that crews can be on water by 10 am.  If you are late you, you will miss out.
Sprint Race 1:  Sunday February 7th at 9:45 am.
Sprint Race 2:  Sunday March 28th at 9:45 am.
Club Training Camp
The RRC training camp will take place on Friday March 12th to Sunday March 14th on the Yarra.
The plan is to squeeze in a couple of training rows on Friday night from 5 pm followed by a club pasta dinner to carbo load for the tough weekend ahead.  So, please try to arrange your work schedule Friday so that you can be at the club at 4:45 pm.
Plans for a coaching camp are being worked on for Saturday March 20th and Sunday March 21st .  We will be asking crews to be available for one training session on Saturday and one Sunday either in the morning or afternoon.  Your coaches will provide you with more details shortly.
Potential New Year’s Resolutions for You

  • Be on time for all club training sessions. This means 9:45 am for a 10 am session or 6:15 pm for 6:30 pm session. If you can’t tell the time you may be relegated to cleaning the rowing shoes each week, your crews need to be able to rely on you or at least know they can count on you to clean the shoes in the boat.
  • Be nice to your Mother and to Nicole (but not to Simon)
  • Stay informed and read club emails, surveys, blog updates and member’s news updates, otherwise you’ll be spending your weekends at home with the cat. Respond promptly as required (no point in playing hard to get anymore as we have a huge group of active rowers this season (and all the new Russian champion DS members) and this makes organizing training and racing so much easier.
  • Keep your race fee account in the black.
  • Don’t get drunk and sleep in the club house, those blue carpets are foul and benches in change rooms only comfortable if unconscious.
  • Clean your boat, even if eagle eye Mike isn’t watching
  • Rush the slide at least 60% of the time otherwise your coaches and coxes will have nothing to say
  • Buy a 4by and help the Schoutons with boat towing and then we can all go to the Flinders Rangers in convoy at Easter
  • Get calluses so bad that you can handle hot coals without even flinching and you impress everyone who shakes hands with you
  • Get a decent handshake otherwise your calluses will look out of place if you have a wet fish handshake, if unsure ask your father
  • Join me in renting out everything not tied down in the club house to raise money for my new air conditioner and larger uniforms with elastic waists
  • Keep in touch with all your old acquaintances who now think you are really cool who you sent a RRC Chrissie card too

Katie Gray (PANS)